Hey everyone,

After the last edition, I had quite a few of you reach out and ask more about the studies on interpersonal synchrony in couples and relationships. As a reminder, interpersonal synchrony is how our bodies unconsciously sync up in social settings, its a fundamental part of how we grow closer together.

I thought I’d summarise some interesting research below:

Neural synchronisation predicts marital satisfaction

In 2022, a study published in PNAS, looked at what happens in the brain when married couples watch emotionally resonant content together.

Using fMRI, researchers scanned the brains of married couples and strangers while they watched short clips about everyday marital life - think romantic gestures, disagreements, and tender moments.

They found that married couples showed significantly higher neural synchrony - meaning the same regions of their brains were firing at the same time. The most striking part is that the more synchronised a couple’s brain activity was, the higher their reported marital satisfaction.

The synchronised regions form the ‘Default Mode Network’. This system is associated with self-reflection, empathy and social cognition, all of which play a really important role in our relationships. 

Neural synchronisation suggests that two people are processing information similarly, it might be one of the reasons we click with certain people or have that spark after a date.

The Power of Touch

A study in Cerebral Cortex took a different approach, asking: what happens in the brain when romantic partners hold hands?

Romantic partners had their brain activity monitored using EEGs whilst they experienced different modes of interaction - touch, voice, and no interaction.

When partners engaged in interpersonal touch, their brain waves aligned more closely, especially in the Default Mode Network. 

Interestingly, the neural synchrony from touch was stronger than from vocal communication. This highlights how non-verbal cues can have a profound effect on how we connect neurologically.

What does this all mean?

Well, like the last post, these studies underscore something deeply human. Our brains are wired for connection. It’s a fundamental part of who we are, how we develop as children, and how we come together as adults. 

Whether we’re talking, touching or simply sharing an experience, our most intimate relationships are not just supported by emotion, but by shared neural activity.

Interpersonal synchrony may be a marker for relationship quality, and it may be a reason why we don’t click with certain people. But life is always more complex than reducing it down to activity in our brain. This is all very new research, so it’s exciting to see where it goes next.

 

Takeaways for daily life

As always, I thought I’d include some key takeaways from my research:

1. Simple gestures matter: Holding hands or hugging isn’t just sweet, it may enhance neural synchrony and emotional connection.

2. Shared experiences strengthen bonds: Watching a movie together, dancing or even walking side by side can help align our brains

3. Connection runs deep: The best relationships might be those where we not only feel seen - but process the world in sync together.

So, next time you notice yourself walking at the same pace as a friend, laughing with a partner at the same time, or feeling like you can communicate without words - remember to take a moment to appreciate it. 

References

Long et al., Interpersonal Neural Synchronization during Interpersonal Touch Underlies Affiliative Pair Bonding between Romantic Couples (2021). Cereb Cortex. 31: 1647-1659.

Li et al., Neural synchronization predicts marital satisfaction (2022). PNAS.